Where is God?

Two little boys, ages 3 and 5, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 3 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
“Where is God?!
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD?!”
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,
“What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
“We are in BIG trouble this time!”
“GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”

Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go?

 

The ones in Coney Island and Rockaway Park back in the 20’s thru to the 50;s ran on electric .
Had a pole on the back going to a metal electrical charged overhead plate.

THESE ARE 

Remember driving the bumper cars at amusement parks or a fair, don’t you? They were so much fun…..

Well now, what do you do with old Bumper Cars?



(and check out the license plates!)

Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go001


WHO KNEW?

Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go008 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go007 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go006 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go005 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go004 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go003 Where Do Old Bumper Cars Go002

Yes, you read that right; these little beasties are street legal.


They run on either Kawasaki or Honda motorcycle engines and co-opt vintage bumper car bodies into the most awesome form of mini-car we’ve seen in too long. There are seven of these little monsters floating around California and they’re all the creation of one man, Tom Wright, a builder in the outskirts of San Diego who figured the leftovers of the Long Beach Pike amusement park needed a more dignified end than the trash heap.


They were originally powered by two cylinder Harley Davidson
Motorcycle engines but they rattled like heck because of the two cylinder
Vibration , so Tom replaces them with four cylinder Honda or Kawasaki 750′s
And a couple have been measured as capable of 160 MPH, which is terrifyingly fast in machines with such a short wheelbase.


By the way, they are almost indestructible in accidents!

Good Ol’ Boys‏

Good Ol' Boys‏001 Good Ol' Boys‏002 Good Ol' Boys‏003 Good Ol' Boys‏004 Good Ol' Boys‏005 Good Ol' Boys‏006 Good Ol' Boys‏007 Good Ol' Boys‏008 Good Ol' Boys‏009 Good Ol' Boys‏010 Good Ol' Boys‏011 Good Ol' Boys‏012 Good Ol' Boys‏013 Good Ol' Boys‏014 Good Ol' Boys‏015 Good Ol' Boys‏016 Good Ol' Boys‏017 Good Ol' Boys‏018 Good Ol' Boys‏019 Good Ol' Boys‏020 Good Ol' Boys‏021 Good Ol' Boys‏022

Smile Creator

Smile Creator_006 Smile Creator_005 Smile Creator_004 Smile Creator_003 Smile Creator_002 Smile Creator_001 Smile Creator_029 Smile Creator_028 Smile Creator_027 Smile Creator_026 Smile Creator_025 Smile Creator_024 Smile Creator_023 Smile Creator_022 Smile Creator_021 Smile Creator_020 Smile Creator_019 Smile Creator_018 Smile Creator_017 Smile Creator_016 Smile Creator_015 Smile Creator_014 Smile Creator_013 Smile Creator_012 Smile Creator_011 Smile Creator_010 Smile Creator_009 Smile Creator_008 Smile Creator_007

Old Timers Bar

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona.

They turn a corner and see a sign that says,
“Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.”

They look at each other and then go in, thinking, This is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room,

“Come on in and let me pour one for you! What’ll it be, gentlemen?”

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.

In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis – shaken, not stirred – and says,

“That’ll be 10 cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck.

They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.  Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,

“That’s 40 cents, please.”

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.  They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.  Finally one of them says,

“How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix ,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer – it’s all the same.”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says.

As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there.

Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender,

“What’s with them?”

The bartender says,

“They’re retired people from Canada.  They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT

Take a look at these great posters. Using just hand shapes, some paint and a phone, an American phone company advertised worldwide by painting hands in the colours of different countries.  It’s just brilliant.   ENJOY!!

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT001 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT002 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT003 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT004 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT005 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT006 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT007 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT008 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT009 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT010 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT011 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT012 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT013 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT014 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT015 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT016 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT017 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT018 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT019 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT020 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT021 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT022 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT023

Ingenious Aussie Solutions


Ingenious Aussie Solutions001

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Leaves to blow?

 

Ingenious Aussie Solutions002

Pets to exercise?

Ingenious Aussie Solutions003

 

No steering wheel?

Ingenious Aussie Solutions004

 

 

 

No mudflaps?

 

Ingenious Aussie Solutions005

Lights broken?

Ingenious Aussie Solutions006

 

 

 

 

 

No trailer? No dramas.

 

Ingenious Aussie Solutions007

No ticket? No worries mate.

Ingenious Aussie Solutions008

No mate to help move? Easy.

Ingenious Aussie Solutions009

If in doubt, duct tape it.

Ingenious Aussie Solutions010

 

Both Feet In

If you ever feel a little bit stupid,

just dig this up and read it again;

you’ll begin to think you’re a genius…

 

 

 



(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

–Mariah Carey
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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”

– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”

–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”

–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC ..

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“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

–A congressional candidate in Texas ..
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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”

–Al Gore, Vice President
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“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

– Dan Quayle
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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

–Lee Iacocca
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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery
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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”

– Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?



Send it on to
your brilliant friends.

 

 Both Feet In‏001



I just did!



Foods for thought‏

Definitive Answers To 20 Of Your Biggest Health Questions . . .

Does olive oil prevent heart disease?

Foods for thought‏ 001

Short answer:
 Yes

The health benefits of  olive oil come from the presence of polyphenols, antioxidants that reduce the risk of heart disease
and cancers. But to get these healthy compounds, consumers should buy good-quality, fresh “extra-virgin” olive oil,
which has the highest polyphenol content. Most commercially available olive oils have low levels of polyphenols
associated with poor harvesting methods, improper storage, and heavy processing.

***************************************************************************************************

Do cough syrups work?

Foods for thought‏ 002

Short answer:
 No

In 2006, the nation’s chest physicians agreed that the majority of over-the-counter cough medicines don’t actually work.
These colourful syrups typically contain doses of codeine and dextromethorphan that are too small to be effective.
Only cough suppressants that contain older antihistamines seem to relieve coughs.
That includes brompheniramine, an active ingredient in Dimetapp.

**************************************************************************************************************

Does sugar cause hyperactivity?

Foods for thought‏ 003

Short answer:
 No

Following a review of 23 studies, a 1996 report published in the Journal of the American Medical Association concluded that sugar “does not affect the behavior or cognitive performance of children.”
The age-old myth that kids misbehave when they eat large amounts of candy, cookies, and other  junk food, could be related to the type of events where these foods are typically served.
For example, kids are more wound-up at birthday parties and during Halloween when sweet treats tend to flow freely.

*********************************************************************************************************

Do sugary soft drinks lead to  diabetes?

Foods for thought‏ 004

Short answer:
 Yes

The majority of health research is stacked against sugar-sweetened soda.
A large 2004 study in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that women
who drank one or more sugary drinks per day increased their risk of developing type 2 diabetes by 83% compared to those who consumed less than one of these beverages per month.

***********************************************************************************

Do I need sunscreen with more than 30  SPF?

Foods for thought‏ 005

Short answer
: No

Sunscreens with an SPF (sun protection factor) of 30 block about 97% of ultraviolet rays, while sunscreens with an SPF of higher than 30 block 97%-98%. It’s more important that you choose “broad-spectrum” sunscreen, meaning it protects  against both UVB and UVA rays. Sunbathers also need to apply a generous amount of sunscreen
in order to get the full benefit of the SPF.

************************************************************************

Is the MSG in Chinese likely to give you a  headache?

Foods for thought‏ 006

Short answer:
 No

A review of 40 years of clinical trials, published in the journal of the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners in 2006  found that all previous research “failed to identify a consistent relationship between the consumption of MSG and the constellation of symptoms that comprise the syndrome,” including headaches and asthma attacks.
The misconception spawned from several poorly-done small studies in the 1960s that seemed to connect MSG  with a variety of maladies that people experienced after eating at Chinese restaurants.

*******************************************************************************

Do nuts make you  fat?

Foods for thought‏ 007

Short answer:
 No

As much as 75% of a nut is fat. But eating fat doesn’t necessarily make you fat.
The bigger factor  leading to weight gain is portion-size. Luckily, nuts are loaded with
healthy fats that keep you full. They’re also a good source of protein and fiber.
One study even found that whole almonds have 20% fewer calories than previously
thought because a lot of the fat is excreted from the body.

****************************************************************

Is walking as effective as  running?

Foods for thought‏ 008

Short answer:
 Yes

Studies have shown that how long you exercise – and thus how many calories you burn – is more
important than how hard you exercise. Running is a more efficient form of exercise,
but not necessarily better for you.
A six-year study published in the journal Arteriosclerosis, Thrombosis, and Vascular Biology in April found that walking at a moderate pace and running produced similar health benefits,so long as the same amount of energy was expended.

*********************************************************************

Is drinking fruit juice as good for you as  eating fruit?

Foods for thought‏ 009

Short answer:
 No

Calorie for calorie, whole fruit provides more nutritional benefits than drinking the pure
juice of that fruit. That’s because when you liquefy fruit, stripping away the peel and
dumping the pulp, many ingredients like fiber, calcium, vitamin C, and other antioxidants are lost.
For comparison, a five-ounce glass of orange juice that contains 69 calories has .3 grams of dietary fiber and 16 milligrams of calcium, whereas an orange with the same number
of calories packs 3.1 grams of fiber and 60 milligrams of calcium.

************************************************************************

Are all wheat breads better for you than white  bread?

Foods for thought‏ 010

Short answer:
 No

Not all wheat breads are created equal. Wheat breads that contain all parts of the grain kernel,  including the nutrient-rich germ and fiber-dense bran, must be labeled  “whole grain” or “whole wheat.”
Some wheat breads are just white bread with a little bit of caramel coloring to make the bread appear healthier, according to Reader’s Digest.

*********************************************************************

Can a hot tub make you sick?

Foods for thought‏ 011

Short answer:
 Yes

Hot tubs – especially ones in spas, hotels, and gyms – are perfect breeding grounds for germs.
The water is not hot enough to kill bacteria, but is just the right temperature to make microbes grow even faster. Even though hot tubs are treated with chlorine, the heat causes the disinfectant to break down faster than it would in regular pools. The most common hot tub infection is pseudomonas folliculitis, which causes red, itchy bumps. A more dangerous side-effect of soaking in a dirty Jacuzzi is a form of pneumonia known as Legionnaire’s disease.

*********************************************************************

Does coffee cause  cancer?

Foods for thought‏ 012

Short answer:
 No

Coffee got a bad rap in the 1980s when a study linked drinking coffee to pancreatic cancer.
The preliminary report was later debunked. More recently, health studies have swung in favor of the caffeinated beverage. Coffee has been linked to a lower risk of type 2 diabetes,
liver cancer, and even suicide.

**********************************************************************

Do eggs raise cholesterol  levels?

Foods for thought‏ 013

Short answer:
 No

Although egg yolks are a major source of cholesterol – a waxy substance that resembles fat- researchers have learned that saturated fat has more of an impact on cholesterol in your blood than eating foods that contain cholesterol. “Healthy individuals with normal blood cholesterol levels should now feel free to enjoy foods like eggs in their diet every day,” the lead researcher from a 25-year University of Arizona study on cholesterol concluded.

*****************************************************************

Can you drink too much  water?

Foods for thought‏ 014

Short answer:
 Yes

It is very rare for someone to die from drinking too much water, but it can happen.
Overhydrating is most common among elite athletes. Drinking an excess of water – called water
intoxication – dilutes the concentration of sodium in the blood leading to a condition known
as hyponatremia. The symptoms of hyponatremia can range from nausea and confusion to
seizures and even death in severe cases. To avoid this, drink fluids with electrolytes
during extreme exercise events.

********************************************************************

Can yogurt ease digestive problems?

Foods for thought‏ 015

Short answer:
 Yes

Our digestive tract is filled with microorganisms — some good and some bad.
Yogurt contains beneficial bacteria, generically called probiotics, that helps maintain a healthy balance.
Probiotics can relieve several gastrointestinal problems, including constipation and diarrhoea.
Certain brands of yogurts, like Active by Dannon are marketed exclusively to treat tummy issues.

**********************************************************************

Do whitening toothpastes whiten teeth more than regular toothpastes?

Foods for thought‏ 016

Short answer:
 No

Whitening toothpastes usually contain peroxides and other strong abrasives that might make your teeth appear whiter by removing stains. Unlike at-home whitening strips and gels that contain bleach, these toothpastes do not actually change the color of your teeth.

*****************************************************************

Is it safe to microwave food in plastic  containers?

Foods for thought‏ 017

Short answer: Yes

But the plastic container should display the words “microwave safe.”
This means that the Food and Drug Administration has tested the container to make sure no
chemicals used make the plastic leech into foods during microwaving.
If chemicals do seep out into food, the amounts are tiny and not dangerous to our health.
As a general guideline, plastic grocery bags as well as most plastic tubs that hold
margarine, yogurt, cream cheese, and condiments are not microwave safe.

**************************************************************

Can watching TV ruin your eyesight?

Foods for thought‏ 018

Short answer:
 No

Watching TV will not destroy your rods and cones as the outdated myth suggests.
Before the 1950s, TVs emitted radiation that could increase an individual’s risk of eye
problems after excessive TV viewing.
Modern TVs have special shielding that blocks these harmful emissions.

**********************************************************************

Is red wine better for you than white  wine?

Foods for thought‏ 019

Short answer:
 Yes

Red wine contains much more resveratrol than white wine, an antioxidant found in the
skin of grapes that has been shown to fight off diseases associated with aging.

***********************************************************

Is bottled water better for you than tap  water?

Foods for thought‏ 020

Short answer:
 No

Bottled water is no safer or purer than tap water, although it is substantially more expensive.
A recent study by Glasgow University in the U.K. found that bottled water is actually more likely to be contaminated than water from your faucet because it is less well-regulated.
Bottled water and tap water typically come from the same sources – natural springs, lakes, and aquifers.
While public water supplies are tested for contaminants every day, makers of bottled water are only required to test for specific contaminants every week, month, or year.

The paint cost $383.00

49 Cadillac,Completely Covered With 38,295 Pennies! Pennies Were Adhered One
By One Using Silicone,
They Added Over 200 Pounds To The Weight, The Entire Project Took 6 weeks,
Pennies are American,and include 1817 ”Big Cent”, Two Error Pennies
And Four 1943 Steel Pennies
The paint cost $383.00‏
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