All posts tagged Beer
Posted by John Mills on February 14, 2015
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.” “Hasn’t affected my brothers though.”
Posted by John Mills on July 30, 2014
Do you drink beer?
How many beers a day?
Usually about 3
How much do you pay per beer?
And how long have you been drinking?
About 20 years, I suppose
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Do you drink beer?
Where’s your Ferrari?
Posted by John Mills on June 26, 2014
Three Newfies were working at the top of a phone tower: Jim, John & Joe.
As they start their descent, Jim slips, falls off the tower, and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, John says, ‘Well, shit, someone’s gotta go and tell Jim’s wife.’
Joe says, ‘OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.’
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
John says, ‘Where’d you get the beer, Joe?’
‘Jim’s wife gave it to me,’ Joe replies.
‘That’s unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?’
‘Well, not exactly’, Joe says. ‘When she answered the door, I said to her, “You must be Jim’s widow.”
She said, ‘You must be mistaken.. I’m not a widow.’
Then I said, ‘I’ll betcha a case of beer you are.’
Newfies are good at that sensitive stuff.
Posted by John Mills on December 14, 2012