SENIOR REFLECTIONS‏

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go …

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Ate salad for dinner … Mostly croutons & tomatoes … Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce … And cheese … FINE, it was a pizza … I ate a pizza …
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How to prepare Tofu:
1.  Throw it in the trash.
2.  Grill some Meat.
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I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web …
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I don’t mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes …
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A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it …

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Kids today don’t know how easy they have it … When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel …
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Senility has been a smooth transition for me …
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Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
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I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this …
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A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him …
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My dentist told me I need a crown. I said, “You bet, pour mine over the rocks”!
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I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day …
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“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

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For Wine Lovers

For Wine lovers

It’s Just Mathematics

This comes from 2 maths teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint…it goes like this:
 

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life? 

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: 

If: 
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 

is represented as: 
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. 

Then: 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% 

and 

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% 

But ,
 

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% 

And, 

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103% 

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. 


A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118% 

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now I know why some people are where they are!

SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR

SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR01 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR03 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR02 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR12 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR11 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR10 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR09 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR08 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR07 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR06 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR05 SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR04SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR13

Modern Day Renaissance Masterpiece

http://twistedsifter.com/2016/01/nye-photo-from-manchester-is-modern-day-renaissance-masterpiece/

5 Life Changing Lessons About Happiness From Winnie The Pooh

http://www.higherperspectives.com/winnie-the-pooh-1498326907.html

F*ck That: A Guided Meditation

Words To Ponder

Words To Ponder001 Words To Ponder002 Words To Ponder003 Words To Ponder004 Words To Ponder005 Words To Ponder006 Words To Ponder007 Words To Ponder008 Words To Ponder009 Words To Ponder010 Words To Ponder011 Words To Ponder012 Words To Ponder013 Words To Ponder014

Having a family of 18 is ‘awesome’‏

http://www.oceansidestar.com/news/having-a-family-of-18-is-awesome-1.1623821

 

I warned you!‏

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

 

I warned you!‏