15 Brilliant Answers

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2016/02/28/15-brilliant-test-answers-from-smartass-kids/

THESE ARE JUST TOO GOOD……

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Have  a wonderful day and  laugh often


Don’t  compare your life to  others’.
You have  no idea what their journey is all  about

We all  need a laugh.

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Send this on to  your good friends who are so lucky to have YOU  for a friend

SMILES TO START YOUR NEW YEAR

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Why Teachers Drink

From the pens of children……. lots of new ones.

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ADVICE COLUMN ON THE DECISION TO MARRY‏

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
(written by kids)ADVICE COLUMN ON THE DECISION TO MARRY‏-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
— Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
— Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? 
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? 
-When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– – Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– – Howard, age 8

 

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys.  Boys need someone to clean up after them.
— Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED? 
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8And the #1 Favorite is…….

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? 
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.

— Ricky, age 10

Bought vs Homemade‏

Leave it children to make us smile.


Bought vs Homemade‏
It just doesn’t get much cuter than this… note the expression in the picture.
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks:  “Oh… How did it go?”
“I nearly died of shame!” she answers.  “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies.  Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.  Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother answers laughingly, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”
“No… but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”

Old people at Weddings …

oldpeopleatweddings

Only a farm kid would see it this way!‏

Only a farm kid would see it this way

When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy say’s, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.

The boy thought for a moment…then say’s, “you’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

Big People Words‏

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BIG PEOPLE WORDS

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to

become accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher

insisted on NO baby talk!

You need to use ‘Big People’ words,’  she was always reminding them.

She asked John what he had done over  the weekend?

‘I went to visit my Nana’.

No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.

Use ‘Big People’  words!’

She then asked Mitchell what he had done

‘I took a ride on a choo-choo’.

She said. ‘No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.

You must remember to use  ‘Big People’ words’.

She then asked little Alex what he had done?

‘I read a book’ he replied.

That’s  WONDERFUL!’ the teacher said.

‘What book did you read?’

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Alex thought real hard about it,

then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,
‘Winnie the
SHIT’

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Directions to Heaven‏

Your smile for the day…. just had to forward this one
 
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”

The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.”

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town.  I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday…I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”

The little boy replied with a chuckle.  “You’re bullshitting me, right?   You don’t even know the way to the Post Office!”