All posts tagged Kids Speak
Have a wonderful day and laugh often
Don’t compare your life to others’.
You have no idea what their journey is all about
We all need a laugh.
Send this on to your good friends who are so lucky to have YOU for a friend
Posted by John Mills on February 12, 2016
Posted by John Mills on January 8, 2016
Posted by John Mills on January 7, 2015
— Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
— Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
— Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
— Derrick, age 8
Both don’t want any more kids.
— Lori, age 8
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
— Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
— Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– – Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– – Howard, age 8
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
— Kelvin, age 8And the #1 Favorite is…….
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
Posted by John Mills on December 3, 2014
Leave it children to make us smile.
It just doesn’t get much cuter than this… note the expression in the picture.
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks: “Oh… How did it go?”
“I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother answers laughingly, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”
“No… but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”
Posted by John Mills on November 28, 2014
Posted by John Mills on November 21, 2014
When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different.
A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
“Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer.
“No, they went to town.”
“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”
“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy say’s, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”
“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.
The boy thought for a moment…then say’s, “you’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”
Posted by John Mills on November 3, 2014
BIG PEOPLE WORDS
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to
become accustomed to the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher
insisted on NO baby talk!
You need to use ‘Big People’ words,’ she was always reminding them.
She asked John what he had done over the weekend?
‘I went to visit my Nana’.
No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER.
Use ‘Big People’ words!’
She then asked Mitchell what he had done
‘I took a ride on a choo-choo’.
She said. ‘No, you took a ride on a TRAIN.
Alex thought real hard about it,
then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said,
‘Winnie the SHIT’
Posted by John Mills on October 31, 2014
The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.”
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town. I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday…I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”
The little boy replied with a chuckle. “You’re bullshitting me, right? You don’t even know the way to the Post Office!”
Posted by John Mills on October 10, 2014