Colonoscopy‏

Colonoscopy‏001Colonoscopy‏002 Colonoscopy‏003
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.

Colonoscopy‏004“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” Because I process food and give all of you energy.”

Colonoscopy‏005“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.”

Colonoscopy‏006“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “Because I allow the body to see where it goes.”

Colonoscopy‏007“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “Because I’m responsible for waste removal.”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum

And insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic..
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
.
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work…
The ass hole is usually in charge

Colonoscopy‏008

If you don’t send this to at least 4 people….
who gives a poop !

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Fly In The Urinal

When my friend’s hubby went to the men’s room in the Schiphol Airport located in Amsterdam,

 

he saw a fly and did his best to ‘wash’ it down the drain… but failed.


He figured the fly had super glue foot pads!!!

Now he knows why it was there!

 

Fly In The Urinal
Who says you can’t potty train a man?

Beep Beep

BeepBeep

Photo of a Boating accident seconds before death..

Not for the squeamish!!


SECONDS before Death (CHILLING
).

WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO.

THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN

WITH JUST SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE….

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Boating Accident
   

2013 Plumber of the Year Awards‏

Your laugh for the day!
2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_001
How does this even get past the planning phase?
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_002
&%$@# Toilet Seat
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_003
Hmmmmm…
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_004
Should have measured twice!
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Apparently, you don’t want anyone seeing your face, but everything else is okay?
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The oak seat is a nice touch, though.
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_007
And the purpose for the door is?
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_008
This stall is for people that have arms like an Orangutan..
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_009
This would be the “half bath” noted in the real estate listing?
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2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_010
Very Classy!  And, only three steps when you’re in a hurry!
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(Drum roll…)
AND THE PLUMBER OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO…
2013 Plumber of the Year Awards_011
Brilliant…
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FYI…ALL OF THESE PLUMBERS ARE THANKFULLY  NO LONGER IN THE BUSINESS.
THEY HAVE ALL SADLY BEEN ELECTED TO PUBLIC OFFICE AND NOW SERVE IN VARIOUS POSITIONS IN YOUR GOVERNMENT.

AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏

AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_001 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_002 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_003 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_004 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_005 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_006 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_007 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_008 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_009 AUNTY ACID STRIKES AGAIN‏_010

Granny’s New Boyfriends

MY NEW BOYFRIENDS!!!

I am seeing 5 gentlemen (give or take) every day!

As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.

Granny's New Boyfriends001

Then I go to see John.

Granny's New Boyfriends003

Granny's New Boyfriends004

Then Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day.

He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint.

Granny's New Boyfriends005

After such a busy day, I’m really tired & very glad to go to bed withEarl Grey.

What a life!

Oh, yes, I’m also flirting with Al Zymer;

Or whatever his name is. I forget!

Granny's New Boyfriends002

And I’m thinking of calling JACK DANIELS, Jim Beam or JOHNNY WALKER to come over and keep me company.

Now remember:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper ……

The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

So have fun,think ‘good thoughts’ only, learn to laugh at yourself, and ‘count your blessings!!

Elderly Man

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said,
‘I’m here to feed the alligator…’
Some old men can still think fast.

New Treatment For Sunburn

Bet you never thought of this…

A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, ‘What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor’?
The doctor replied, ‘It won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.’

HOW MANY MORE DOCTORS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?