All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
Trying to decide who was the one in charge.“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”
“I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.”
“I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” Because I process food and give all of you energy.”
All the other body parts laughed at the rectumAnd insulted him,
So in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
The stomach was bloated,
The legs got wobbly,
The eyes got watery,
And the blood was toxic..
They all decided that the rectum should be the boss
The Moral of the story?
Even though the others do all the work…
The ass hole is usually in charge
If you don’t send this to at least 4 people….
who gives a poop !
All posts for the month August, 2013
Posted by John Mills on August 31, 2013
When my friend’s hubby went to the men’s room in the Schiphol Airport located in Amsterdam,
he saw a fly and did his best to ‘wash’ it down the drain… but failed.
He figured the fly had super glue foot pads!!!
Now he knows why it was there!
Posted by John Mills on August 30, 2013
Posted by John Mills on August 29, 2013
Not for the squeamish!!
SECONDS before Death (CHILLING).
WARNING! GRAPHIC BOATING PHOTO.
THIS IS A PICTURE OF A MAN
WITH JUST SECONDS LEFT TO LIVE….
Posted by John Mills on August 28, 2013
Posted by John Mills on August 27, 2013
Posted by John Mills on August 26, 2013
MY NEW BOYFRIENDS!!!
I am seeing 5 gentlemen (give or take) every day!
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John.
Then Arthur Ritis shows up & stays the rest of the day.
He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long so he takes me from joint to joint.
After such a busy day, I’m really tired & very glad to go to bed withEarl Grey.
What a life!
Oh, yes, I’m also flirting with Al Zymer;
Or whatever his name is. I forget!
And I’m thinking of calling JACK DANIELS, Jim Beam or JOHNNY WALKER to come over and keep me company.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper ……
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
So have fun,think ‘good thoughts’ only, learn to laugh at yourself, and ‘count your blessings!!
Posted by John Mills on August 25, 2013
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’
The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’
Holding the bucket up he said,
‘I’m here to feed the alligator…’
Posted by John Mills on August 24, 2013
A guy visiting in Hawaii fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got a horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs.
With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
Posted by John Mills on August 23, 2013