1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Insist that your e mail address is Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-king@companyname.com
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
6. Put your garbage can on you desk and label it “IN”.
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has overcome their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo section of all your checks, write “for sexual favors”.
10. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
11. Finish all you sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don’t use any punctuation.
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16. Specify that your drive through order is “to go.”
17. Sing along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your
boss is of the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing.
For example, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in stall #3.”
21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds
all day.
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend
their party because you’re not in the mood.
24. Call the psychic hotline and don’t say anything.
25. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I WON, I WON!” “3rd time
this week!”
27. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
“Run for your lives, they’re loose!”
28. Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bother me, it’s
theĀ  voices in your head that do!”
29. Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go.”
30. Every time you see a broom yell, “Honey, your mother’s here!”
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…