Happy Dirt

http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/garden-how-to/soil-fertilizers/antidepressant-microbes-soil.htm

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F*ck That: A Guided Meditation

Health Warning! Do NOT shampoo in the shower‏.

It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!
IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning!
I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label this warning; “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It’s label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”
Problem solved! If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!

 

Valuable Wine Info

Valuable wine info

 

To all of you who enjoy a glass of wine... And those who don’t.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria  found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
.

Therefore, it’s better

to drink wine and talk stupid,
than to drink water and be full of shit
.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I’m doing it as a public service.

A Stroke has a New Identification Indicator

(Snopes has more on this and similar circulating emails – Ed)
You have probably seen this before but it doesn’t hurt to have a reminder! Time is of the essence!
 
 
 
 









       
Stroke has a New Indicator     They say if you email this to ten people, you stand a chance of saving one life. Will you send this along?  Blood Clots/Stroke – They Now Have a Fourth Indicator,  the Tongue 

I will continue to forward this every time it comes around!
STROKE: 
Remember the 1st Three Letters… S. T. R.  STROKE  IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall. She assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) . . . she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.

Jane’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital – (at 6:00 PM Jane passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this.

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

 RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the ‘3’ steps – STR.

Read and Learn!Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a  bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:


S  *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T  *
Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE  (Coherently)

(i.e. Roy is a jerk)
R
  *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ——– Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE:  Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is this: Ask the person to ‘stick’ out his tongue. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other

 that is also an indication of a stroke.A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.


I have done my part. Will you?

What Does 200 Calories Look Like?

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-does-200-calories-look-like.htm

Granny’s Advice

Yes, our grandmothers still had genuine knowledge of staying naturally healthy!!!

My granny lectured me about her practical knowledge:

“For better digestion, I drink beer, for loss of appetite I drink white wine, with   low blood pressure, red wine, with high blood pressure, cognac and whenever   I have a cold, I drink Vodka.”

“And when do you drink water?”

“I have never been that sick!”


               Granny's Advice

Testing You

Check for Alzheimer’s – Pretty Amazing.
The following was developed as a mental age assessment

by the School of Psychiatry at  Harvard University Take your

time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1.    This is this cat.
2.    This is is cat.
3.    This is how cat.
4.    This is to cat.
5.    This is keep cat.
6.    This is an cat.
7.    This is old cat.
8.    This is fart cat.
9.    This is busy cat.
10.   This is for cat.
11.   This is forty cat.
12.   This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the third word in each line from the

top down and I betcha’ you cannot resist passing it on…..

Second Opinion

The doctor said, ‘Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’
I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife. When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of Myself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life.
I saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit…’
I entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit..’
The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… Size 44 long.’
I laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’
‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.
I tried on the suit it fit perfectly.
As I, admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’
I thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman eyed me and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’
I was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’
‘Been in the business 60 years.’
I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.
I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’
I thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’
The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… Size 36.
I laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’
The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’
New suit – $500
New shirt – $52
New underwear – $12
Second Opinion – PRICELESS

A Glass of Wine

A Glass of Wine_001A Glass of Wine_002A Glass of Wine_003