My New Truck

I bought a new Ford F 150 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. Go figure, it runs on hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. But I had to return to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. Then the technician said ‘Nelson’, said to the radio andThe radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’  ‘Willie!’ he continued and  ‘On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.

Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven’,I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles’, I’d get one of their awesome songs.

 Yesterday,some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.

 I yelled,’Ass Hole!’ and Immediately the radio responded with, “Ladies and gentlemen, The President of the United States”

 Damn I love this truck.

EPA’s List of COVID-19 Disinfectants

(Ed. – All products on this list meet EPA’s criteria for use against SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes COVID-19. If you don’t find the product you’re using it’s probably because it’s not available in the US – check with the manufacturer.)

https://www.epa.gov/pesticide-registration/list-n-disinfectants-use-against-sars-cov-2

Benefits of wearing a face mask

(Ed. More info here on making and using masks.)

https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2020/04/04/benefits-of-wearing-face-mask.aspx

Caring For Relatives At Home

(Ed. This doctor is a retired Nurse Teacher. I think he knows of what he speaks.)

How We’ll Beat The Coronavirus

How to make a COVID-19 mask

Border patrol agent’s gender reveal party ignited a 47,000-acre wildfire

https://www.cnn.com/2018/10/02/us/az-off-duty-border-patrol-agent-wildfire/index.html

Magic Roundabout

Darwin Awards

It just goes to show you that there are idiots out there besides blonds.

 

The Darwin Awards are out …

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

  1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down  the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

 

And now, the honorable mentions:

 

  1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting  negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger… The chef’s claim was approved.

 

  1. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

  1. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not  wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies…  The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

 

  1. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train.. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that  he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

  1. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the  cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime  committed?

 

  1. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cylinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cylinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cylinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief  on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape…

 

  1. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description  of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s  the lady I stole the purse from.”

 

  1. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because  he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast…. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

 

  1. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for… Police arrived at the scene  to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

 

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family….unless of course  one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Democracy is not easy

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/british-suffragette-was-the-1st-to-go-to-jail-now-a-letter-to-her-sister-has-been-found-in-b-c-1.4836244