This 3D Printed Clock Writes the Time with a Marker

http://twistedsifter.com/2014/02/3d-printed-clock-writes-time-with-marker/

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Women’s Favorite E-mail of the Year!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home…

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
‘Dear Lord:
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.
I want her to know what I go through.
So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day.
Amen!’

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,
Awakened the kids,
Set out their school clothes,
Fed them breakfast,
Packed their lunches,
Drove them to school,
Came home and picked up the dry cleaning,
Took it to the cleaners

Went grocery shopping,
Then drove home to put away the groceries,

He cleaned the cat’s litter box and bathed the dog.
Then, it was already 01P.M.
And he hurried to make the beds,
Do the laundry, vacuum,
Dust,
And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.
Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.
Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.
Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper..

After supper,
He cleaned the kitchen,
Ran the dishwasher,
Folded laundry,
Bathed the kids,
And put them to bed..
At 09 P..M ..
He was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love,
Which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: –
‘Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking.
I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being able to stay home all day.
Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.
Amen!’

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
‘My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You’ll just have to wait nine months, though.
You got pregnant last night.’

This has been voted Women’s Favorite E-mail of the Year!

The World’s First Human Loop the Loop

http://goo.gl/RqXeST

Tiny Crystal Is Oldest Known Piece of Earth, Scientists Say

http://www.nbcnews.com/science/science-news/tiny-crystal-oldest-known-piece-earth-scientists-say-n36916

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER001

These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!
 

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat? 

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! 

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!) 


Q.
Do female frogs croak? 

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. 


Q.
If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be 

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. 


Q.
True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years… 

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. 


Q.
You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? 

A.. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake. 


Q.
According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married? 

A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning. 


Q.
Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? 

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.. 


Q.
What are ‘Do It,’ ‘I Can Help,’ and ‘I Can’t Get Enough’? 

A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment. 


Q.
As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? 

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget. 


Q.
Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather? 

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. 


Q..
Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? 

A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries. 


Q.
In bowling, what’s a perfect score? 

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 


Q.
During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? 

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom. 


Q.
Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?  

A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. 


Q.
When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? 

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? 


Q.
If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? 

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.. 


Q.
According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? 

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. 


Q.
Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? 

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. 


Q.
Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? 

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 


Q.
Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? 

A. Charley Weaver: His feet. 


Q.
According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? 

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh 


WE DON’T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD,

WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHINGEnjoy and pass on to your friends.

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER002

Last picture taken of an idiot

It’s the laws of nature that the stupid usually remove themselves from the gene pool………

Last picture taken of an idiot

(…and preferably before the genes have been passed on. -Ed)

I’m Canadian

I'm Canadian001 I'm Canadian002 I'm Canadian003 I'm Canadian004 I'm Canadian005 I'm Canadian006 I'm Canadian007 I'm Canadian008 I'm Canadian009 I'm Canadian010 I'm Canadian011

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

National Girlfriend and Sister’s Week
I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use, and the friends I have. 
To the cool women who have touched my life. Here’s to you! 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY001
National Girlfriends Day 

If you get this twice , you know you have more than one girlfriend. 
Be Happy!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU

It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first. 
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don ‘t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don ‘t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway. 


Send this to all the bright women you know and make their day!!!!!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY002

Maps to help you understand the world.

(Oops!  I pressed the ‘Publish’ button by accident. Here’s the complete posting. – Ed.)
1. This map shows the world divided into 7 sections (each with a distinct color) with each section containing 1 billion people.
Maps to help you understand the world001
 
2. This map shows (in white) where 98 percent of Australia ‘s population lives.
Maps to help you understand the world002
 
3. It may not come as a surprise but more people live inside the circle than outside of it.
Maps to help you understand the world003
 
4. This map shows what is on the other side of the world from where you are standing.  For the most part it will probably be water.
Maps to help you understand the world004
 
5. Apparently you can’t get Big Macs everywhere.  This map shows (in red) the countries that have McDonalds.
Maps to help you understand the world005
 
6. This map shows the countries (in blue) where people drive on the left side of the road.
Maps to help you understand the world006
 
7. This map shows countries (in white) that England has never invaded.  There are only 22 of them.
Maps to help you understand the world007
 
8. The line in this map shows all of the world’s Internet connections in 1969.
Maps to help you understand the world008
 
9. This map shows the countries that heavily restricted Internet access in 2013.
Maps to help you understand the world009
 
10. This map shows (in red) countries that were all Communist at one point in time.
Maps to help you understand the world010
 
11. This map shows (in red) the countries that don’t use the metric system.
Maps to help you understand the world011
 
12. This map shows (in blue) places where Google street view is available.
Maps to help you understand the world012
 
13. This map shows (in green) all the landlocked countries of the world.
Maps to help you understand the world013
 
14. And this is what the world would look like if all the countries with coast lines sank.
Maps to help you understand the world014
 
15. This is a map of the all the rivers in the United States .
Maps to help you understand the world015
 
16. And these are all the rivers that feed into the Mississippi River .
Maps to help you understand the world016
 
17. This is a map of the highest paid public employees in the United States .
Maps to help you understand the world017
 
18. This map shows how much space the United States would occupy on the moon.
Maps to help you understand the world018
 
19. This map shows the longest straight line you can sail.  It goes from Pakistan all the way to Kamchatka Peninsula in Russia for a total of 20,000 miles.
Maps to help you understand the world019
 
20. This is a map of 19th century shipping lanes that outlines the continents.
Maps to help you understand the world020
 
21. This map shows (in navy blue) every country that has ever operated an aircraft carrier.
Maps to help you understand the world021
 
22. This map highlights the countries (in red and orange) with the most skyscrapers.
Maps to help you understand the world022
 
23. This map shows (in red, orange, and yellow) the world’s largest donors of foreign aid with red being the biggest donor.
Maps to help you understand the world023
 
24. This map shows the most photographed places in the world.
Maps to help you understand the world024
 
25. And this map shows all the places where you can get eaten by a Great White shark!
Maps to help you understand the world025

The Importance of Correct Spelling

A man received a message from his neighbor … :
“Sorry sir, I am using your wife…I am using day and night …I am using when you are not present at home….In fact I am using more than you are using…..
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt…
Hope you will accept my sincere apologies.”

 

… and the man shot his wife…

 

A few minutes later he received another message:

“So sorry sir, spelling mistake … wifi, not wife.”