Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL001

IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN …

  Who’s jolly and cute,

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL002

Wearing a beard and

a red flannel suit,

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL003

  And if he is chuckling

and laughing away,

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL004

  While flying around

in a miniature sleigh,

With eight tiny reindeer

to pull him along, 

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL005

Then let’s face it…

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL006

Your eggnog’s too strong!

Ho Ho Ho MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL007

Merry Christmas and

a Happy 2015

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Holiday Pun

Holiday Pun

What Newfies do with Old Rubber Boots …

What Newfies do with Old Rubber Boots ...

Just In Time For Christmas – A Turkey Tip

TO ALL MY FRIENDS THAT LIKE TO BE CREATIVE OVER THE HOLIDAYS !! 
 Cut a lemon in half and place under the skin of the turkey before roasting for
A Christmas meal the family will still be talking about next year !
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Just In Time For Christmas – A Turkey Tip

Canada Eh!

Dave & Ladine are at the airport in Phoenix, awaiting their flight.

They are dressed in heavy boots, parka, scarf, mittens,  all ready to head home to the Canadian winter.

An old American couple standing nearby in shorts are intrigued by their manner of dress.

The wife says to her husband, “Look at that couple.  I wonder where they’re from?”

He replies, “How would I know?”

She counters, “You could go and ask them.”

He says, “I don’t really care. You want to know, you go ask them.”

She decides to do just that, walks over to the couple and asks, “Excuse me, I’ve noticed the way you’re dressed and I wonder where you’re from?”

Dave replies, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.”

The woman returns to her husband who asks, “So, where are they from?”

She replies, “I don’t know. They don’t speak English.”

What Friends Are For

WHY OLDER MEN DON’T GET HIRED

Job Interview:

Human Resources Manager:  “What is your greatest weakness?”

Older Man:  “Honesty.”

Human Resources Manager:  “I don’t really think honesty is a weakness.”

Older Man:  “I don’t really give a shit what you think.”

Words To Ponder

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Tickle Me Elmo!

This one is too funny not to pass on.

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is sobacked up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday…’

‘Your job is to give Elmo two test —tickles.

If you don’t send this to five friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!

How Long Should One Live?‏

Live long enough to be a REAL concern to your family

 

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