All posts in category ANIMATION
IF YOU SEE A FAT MAN …
Who’s jolly and cute,
Wearing a beard and
a red flannel suit,
And if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
While flying around
in a miniature sleigh,
With eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
Then let’s face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!
Merry Christmas and
a Happy 2015
Posted by John Mills on December 24, 2014
No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway
Posted by John Mills on October 29, 2014
Posted by John Mills on October 7, 2014
If you don’t read till the end you have missed the best part.
Adam and Eve said, ‘Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us
every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are lonesome here, and it is
difficult for us to remember how much you love us.’
And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.’
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal and God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his
And Adam said, ‘Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and
I cannot think of a name for this new animal.’
And God said, ‘I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love
for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, ‘Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.’
And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.’
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them.
And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased..
And Dog was happy
didn’t give a shit one way or the other.
Posted by John Mills on June 23, 2014
I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius..I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.
Posted by John Mills on May 12, 2014
Posted by John Mills on April 3, 2014
(Reported false by Snopes I post this variation for its punch line. – Ed)
Manure… An interesting fact Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.
It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ‘ Stow high in transit ‘ on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this “volatile” cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term ‘ S.H.I.T ‘ , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
You probably did not know the true history of this word.
Neither did I.
I had always thought it was a golf term
Posted by John Mills on March 16, 2014
Lexiphiles (i.e., “lovers of words”) – you know . . . like,
you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. . . or, …
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping center . . . you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; . . . it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . .. . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture: . .. . a jab well done.
Posted by John Mills on January 11, 2014