Lexiphiles (i.e., “lovers of words”) - you know . . . like,
you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. . . or, …
To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , . . . U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a . . . dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name . .. . and a dress.
A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping center . . . you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? . . . He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; . . . it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry . . .. it goes back four seconds
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine . . . was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be . .. . exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, . . . she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture: . .. . a jab well done.