African Road Rage

Now aren’t you glad we won’t experience this on our roads??????

These photos are from Thursday, Feb. 17 by someone from Centurion in Pilanesberg game reserve, South Africa .

The guy in the white Volkswagen was trying to get past the elephant.
African Road Rage002

African Road Rage003

African Road Rage004

African Road Rage005

African Road Rage006

African Road Rage007

African Road Rage008

 

Road rage, it affects us all

Advertisements

Prank It Forward

Bought vs Homemade‏

Leave it children to make us smile.


Bought vs Homemade‏
It just doesn’t get much cuter than this… note the expression in the picture.
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks:  “Oh… How did it go?”
“I nearly died of shame!” she answers.  “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies.  Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.  Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother answers laughingly, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”
“No… but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”

They Walk Among US!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’ For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next day someone stole it!
 They walk amongst us! and vote
————————————- 
*One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted…..’Look at that dead bird!’ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?’
 They walk among us! And vote
———————————————————-
 While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Real Estate agent which direction was north because he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?’ My brother explained that the sun rises in the east And has for some time. She shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff……’
 They Walk Among Us!
——————————————– 
 Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding… Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace… Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
You just can’t fix stupid.

————————————- 
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving’.
They Walk Among Us!
———————————— 
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
They Walk Among Us! 
————————————————-
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’…

                  They Walk Among Us!
————————————————

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us! 
————————————- 
Dumb as a box of Rocks
 TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ she asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’
‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied. ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track..’
‘What sort of question?’ asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask , ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.’
Sadly, they walk among us!

 

AWESOME PHOTOS.

“In The Heat Of The Moment”
AWESOME PHOTOS001

 
An Airplane’s View Of A Distant Storm
AWESOME PHOTOS002

Open Water Roll Cloud
AWESOME PHOTOS003

Creative Mirror Positioning
AWESOME PHOTOS004

Light Show at the Grand Canyon
AWESOME PHOTOS005

“UFO” Spotted In Seattle
AWESOME PHOTOS006

Waterspouts Over The Adriatic
AWESOME PHOTOS007

A Full Circle Rainbow
AWESOME PHOTOS008

The Studley Tool Chest
AWESOME PHOTOS009

Praising The Sun
AWESOME PHOTOS010

San Francisco is Steep
AWESOME PHOTOS011

San Francisco Fog

Sunset In Santorini
AWESOME PHOTOS012

The Sky Whale
AWESOME PHOTOS013

When Art Meets Nature
AWESOME PHOTOS014

Shelf Cloud Over Timisoara
AWESOME PHOTOS015

Flyby Eclipse
AWESOME PHOTOS016

Underwater Perfection
AWESOME PHOTOS017

Beautiful Barn Conversion
AWESOME PHOTOS018

Just Room Enough for One Island 
AWESOME PHOTOS019

Abandoned Parisian Railway
AWESOME PHOTOS020

Forest on Shipwreck
AWESOME PHOTOS021

Their First Flight
AWESOME PHOTOS022

Time-Lapse Moonrise Over LA
AWESOME PHOTOS023

World’s Coolest Duck .. . . Ever!
AWESOME PHOTOS024

Down The Spiral Staircase
AWESOME PHOTOS025

Whiskey On The Rocks . . . Ahhhh
AWESOME PHOTOS026

Moon Jelly
AWESOME PHOTOS027

Forces Of Nature
AWESOME PHOTOS028

Coal Train At Sunset
AWESOME PHOTOS029

The Eye Of The Moon
AWESOME PHOTOS030

 Dubai: Cloud City
AWESOME PHOTOS031

Easter Island Sunrise
AWESOME PHOTOS032

Olympic Moonrise
AWESOME PHOTOS033

Tail-Pinching Buddha
AWESOME PHOTOS034

Terrorism High Alert Causing Me Problems

When I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.”

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed.

After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out
that she was referring to how I should position my banking card.

Nonetheless, I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors.

I hate this getting older stuff. 

MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL

  The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello..’

‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’

‘Speaking.’

‘Mrs.. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.’

‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV… We can’t tell which is which.’

‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’, questioned Mrs. Sanders..

‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.’

‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’

‘The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town . . If he finds his way home . . don’t sleep with him.’

El Sendero Luminoso

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING

You have been chosen to receive the blessing of the Snow Fairy.

The Snow Fairy can bring you good fortune for one whole year.

May YOU be blessed by his good deeds…..

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING001

FIRST CHRISTMAS GREETING002

 

 

You must pass the Snow Fairy

to 7 people within 60 seconds

to receive your one year blessing….

HURRY!

Be Careful What You Promise!

WHEN I SAY I’M BROKE – I’M BROKE!
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”
”Go away!” said the old lady.  ”I’m broke and haven’t got any money!” And she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open…

”Don’t be too hasty!” he said.” Not until you have at least seen my   demonstration.”
 And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
“Now if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam,I will personally eat the remainder.”
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well let me get you a fork, ’cause they cut off my electricity this morning.”