SENIOR REFLECTIONS‏

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go …

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Ate salad for dinner … Mostly croutons & tomatoes … Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce … And cheese … FINE, it was a pizza … I ate a pizza …
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How to prepare Tofu:
1.  Throw it in the trash.
2.  Grill some Meat.
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I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web …
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I don’t mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes …
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A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it …

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Kids today don’t know how easy they have it … When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel …
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Senility has been a smooth transition for me …
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Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.
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I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this …
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A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for money … so I woke up and searched with him …
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My dentist told me I need a crown. I said, “You bet, pour mine over the rocks”!
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I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day …
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“Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.”

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