Classified Ads

These classified ads were really put in the paper
 
 
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.  Hateful little bastard.  Bites!
 
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
 
FREE PUPPIES.
Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
 
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat. Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.
 
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
 
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.
 
WEDDING DRESS FOR   SALE .
Worn once by mistake.  Call Stephanie.
 
And the best one:
 
FOR   SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.  Excellent
condition.  £200 or best offer.  No longer needed, Got married last
month.  Wife knows f *****g everything.
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