Mystery, thy name is woman‏

    WOMEN’S  REVENGE 

‘Cash,  check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the  woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for  her wallet,  I noticed a  remote control for a television set in her  purse. 
‘So, do  you always carry your TV remote?’ I  asked. 
‘No,’  she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come  shopping with me, and I  figured this was the most evil thing I could do to  him legally.’ 
 
UNDERSTANDING  WOMEN 
(A MAN’S  PERSPECTIVE) 
I know  I’m not going to understand  women.  I’ll  never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair  out by the root, and still  be afraid of a spider.   
 
WIFE  VS. HUSBAND 
A couple  drove down a country road for several miles, not  saying a word. An earlier discussion had led  to an argument and neither of them wanted to  concede their position…  As  they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and  pigs, the  husband asked sarcastically, ‘Relatives of  yours?’ 
‘Yep,’  the wife replied, ‘in-laws.’ 
 
WORDS 
A husband  read an article to his wife about how many words  women use a day.  30,000 to  a man’s 15,000.  The  wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we  have to repeat everything to men… The  husband then turned to his wife and asked,  ‘What?’ 
CREATION 
A man  said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t  know  how you can  be so  stupid and so  beautiful  all at  the same  time.  ‘The  wife  responded,  ‘Allow me to explain.God made me  beautiful  so you would  be  attracted to  me; God made me  stupid so I  would be attracted to you! 
 
WHO  DOES WHAT 
A man  and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each  morning. 
The wife  said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get  our coffee.
The husband said, ‘You are in  charge of cooking around here and you should  do it, because that is your job, and I can just  wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you  should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that  the man should do the coffee.’ 
Husband  replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So  she fetched the Bible, and opened the Old  Testament and showed him at the top of several  pages, that it indeed says …  ‘HEBREWS’ 
The  Silent Treatment 
A man and  his wife were having some problems at home and were  giving each other the silent treatment. 
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,  he would need his wife to wake  him at 5:00  AM for an early morning business  flight. 
Not  wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
‘Please  wake me at 5:00 AM ….’  He left it  where he knew she would find  it. 
The next  morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was  9:00 AM  and he had  missed his flight
Furious, he  was about to go and  see why his  wife hadn’t wakened him, when he  noticed a piece of paper by  the  bed. 
The paper  said, ‘It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..’
Men are not  equipped for these kinds of  contests. 
 
God may  have created man before woman, but there is always  a     rough draft  before the masterpiece 
 
SEND  THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN  YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!
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