Yesterday at the doctor

 When my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday,
I told him about my day:
“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge
of a deep lake, barely escaped from a mountain lion in
the heavy brush, marched along a treacherous trail up
and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand, and barely escaped jumping
away from an aggressive rattlesnake”
Inspired by my story, the doctor said, “You must be an
awesome outdoorsman!”
“No,” I replied, “I’m just a shitty golfer.”
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