PRESIDENT CLINTON’S TESTIMONY by Dr. Seuss

I DID NOT DO IT IN A CAR
I DID NOT DO IT IN A BAR
I DID NOT DO IT IN THE DARK
I DID NOT DO IT IN THE PARK

I DID NOT DO IT ON A DATE
I DID NOT EVER FORNICATE
I DID NOT DO IT AT A DANCE
I DID NOT DO IT IN HER PANTS

I DID NOT GET BEYOND FIRST BASE
I DID NOT DO IT IN HER FACE
I NEVER DID IT IN A BED
IF YOU THINK THAT, YOU’VE BEEN MISLED

I DID NOT DO IT WITH A GROAN
I DID NOT DO IT ON THE PHONE
I DID NOT CAUSE HER DRESS TO STAIN
I NEVER BOINKED SUDDAM HUSSEIN
I DID NOT DO IT WITH A WHIP
I NEVER FONDLED LINDA TRIPP
I NEVER ACTED REALLY SILLY
WITH VOLUNTEERS LIKE KATHLEEN WILLEY

THERE WAS ONE TIME, WITH MARGARET THATCHER
I CHASED HER ‘ROUND, BUT COULD NOT CATCH HER
NO KINKY STUFF, NOT ON YOUR LIFE
I WOULDN’T EVEN WITH MY WIFE
AND GENNIFER FLOWERS’ TALE OF WOES
WAS PAID FOR BY MY RIGHT-WING FOES
AND PAULA JONES, AND THOSE STATE TROOPERS
ARE JUST A BUNCH OF PARTY POOPERS
I DID NOT ASK MY FRIENDS TO LIE
I DID NOT HANG THEM OUT TO DRY
I DID NOT DO IT LAST NOVEMBER
BUT IF I DID, I DON’T REMEMBER
I DID NOT DO IT IN THE HALL
I COULD HAVE, BUT I DON’T RECALL
I NEVER DID IT IN MY STUDY
I NEVER DID IT WITH MY DOG, BUDDY

I NEVER DID IT TO SOX, THE CAT
I MIGHT HAVE ONCE WITH ARAFAT
I NEVER DID IT IN A HURRY
I NEVER GROPED MS. BETTY CURRIE
THERE WAS NO SEX AT ARLINGTON
THERE WAS NO SEX ON AIR FORCE ONE
I MIGHT HAVE COPPED A LITTLE FEEL
AND THEN ENDEAVORED TO CONCEAL

BUT NEVER DID THESE THINGS SO LEWD
AT LEAST, NOT EVER IN THE NUDE
THESE THINGS TO WHICH I HAVE CONFESSED
THEY DO NOT COUNT, IF WE STAYED DRESSED
IT NEVER HAPPENED WITH CIGAR
I NEVER DATED MRS. STARR
I DID NOT KNOW THIS LITTLE SIN
WOULD BE RETOLD ON CNN
I BROKE SOME RULES MY MAMA TAUGHT ME
I TRIED TO HIDE, BUT NOW YOU’VE CAUGHT ME
BUT I IMPLORE, I DO BESEECH
DO NOT CONDEMN, DO NOT IMPEACH
I MIGHT HAVE GOT A LITTLE TAIL
BUT NEVER, NEVER DID INHALE

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