If you think squirrels on the roof are a problem!

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now that is a problem

Mom! Where are your glasses?

I love this one!!!!  I would never be able to think of a reply like this!!

Mom  Where are your glasses
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again, asking why I didn’t do something useful with my time.
“Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?” I asked.
Talking about my  “doing-something-useful”  seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.
She was  “only thinking of me”, she said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the guys.
I did this and when I got home last night, I decided to play a prank on her.
I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a Parachute Club.
She replied,  “Are you nuts?  You are 78 years old and now you’re going to start jumping out of airplanes?”
I told her that I even got a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
She immediately telephoned me and yelled, “Good grief, Mom, where are your glasses?!
This is a Membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club.”
“Oh man, I’m in trouble again,” I said, “I really don’t know what to do. I signed up for five jumps a week!!”
The line went quiet and her friend picked up the phone and said that my daughter had fainted.
Life as a Senior Citizen is not getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun.

The Most Important Man You Probably Never Heard Of

http://goo.gl/pdPq1k

COFFEE MORNING IN ROME

http://goo.gl/jZgY5j

West Virginia FARM KID joins the Marines

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well.  Hope you are too.  Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.  Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.  But I am getting so I like to sleep late.  Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things.  No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there’s warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee.  Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again.  It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on ‘route marches,’ which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us.  If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different.  A ‘route march’ is about as far as to our mailbox at home.  Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher.  He nags a lot.  The Captain is like the school board.  Majors and colonels just ride around and frown.  They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.  I keep getting medals for shooting.  I don’t know why.  The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home.  All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it.  You don’t even load your own cartridges.  They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training.  You get to wrestle with them city boys.  I have to be real careful though, they break real easy.  It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home.  I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in  Silver Lake ..  I only beat him once.  He joined up the same time as me, but I’m only 5’6′ and 130 pounds and he’s 6’8′ and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

Ultra HD Footage of Himalayas

http://goo.gl/ohQN5i

SDO: Year 5

Lady Plumber

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Irena Sendler
Died: May 12, 2008 (aged 98) Warsaw, Poland 
 
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During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.
She had an ulterior motive.
 
Irena smuggled Jewish infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried.   She also carried a burlap sack in the back of her truck for larger kids.  Irena kept a dog in the back of her truck that she had trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto.   The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking which covered the kids/infants noises.
 
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During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants.  Ultimately, she was caught, however, and the Nazi’s broke both of her legs and arms and beat her severely.
 
Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she had smuggled out in a glass jar that she buried under a tree in her back yard.  After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived and tried to reunite the family.  Most had been gassed.  Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.
 
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In 2007 Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize.  She was not selected.   Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming. 
 
Later, another politician, Barack Obama, won for his work as a community organizer for ACORN.
 
In  MEMORIAM – 65 YEARS LATER: I’m doing my small part by forwarding this message.   I hope you’ll consider doing the same.   On May 8, it will be 70 years since the Second World War in Europe ended.  This email is being sent as a memorial chain in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, and 10 million Christians were  murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated.

Now more than ever, with Iran and others claiming the HOLOCAUST to be “a myth,” it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets,  because there are others who would like to do it again.

Simply Too Special

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“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is life, fight for it.”

~ Mother Teresa

The New Pet

 



The Centipede
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A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
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So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
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After some discussion he finally bought a talking centipede (100-legged bug) which came in a little white box to use for his house.
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He took the box back home, found a good spot for it and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him.
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So he asked the centipede in the box,
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“Would you like to go to church with me today?



We will have a good time.”
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But there was no answer from his new pet.
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This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again,



“How about going to church with me and receive blessings?”
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But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.



So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
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The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
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This time he put his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted,
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“Hey, in there! Would you like to go
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to church


with me ?



and learn

about God?”
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YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ……
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This time a little voice came out of the box
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“I heard you the first time!



I’m still putting my shoes on!”
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