Ramblings of a Retired Mind

 

 

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can’t afford one.  So, I’m  wearing my garage door opener.

 


 

I also made a cover for my  hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

 


 

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

 


 

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

 


 

I thought about  making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it ‘Pumping Rust’.

 


 

I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease.  That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

 


 

When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’  Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’

 


 

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.  I think you should write, ‘A Good Doctor’!

 


 

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.  Then, it dawned on me.  They were cramming for their finals.

 

 

As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

 


 

A penny saved is a government oversight.

 


 

The older you get,  the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

 


 

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

 


 

He who hesitates is probably right.

 


 

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

 


 

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

 


 

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..

 


 

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

 


 

Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

 


 

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

 


 

One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.  Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

 


 

Lord, Keep your arm  around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ..
… AMEN

 

10 things we didn’t know last week

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-magazine-monitor-28480687

China’s New “LITTLE CAR” aka “THE HIGHWAY SUPPOSITORY.”‏

This is not a joke, they do sell for $600.00 and they won’t be able to make them fast enough.
Here’s a one seater car that will get you back and forth to work on the cheap…
This $600 Volkswagen’s car gets 258 mpg, 109.687 km/l or 0,9 litre per 100 km!!!
China's New LITTLE CAR001
This $600 car is not a toy; it is ready to be released in China next year.
The single seater aero car totes VW (Volkswagen) branding.
Volkswagen did a lot of very highly protected testing of this car in Germany; it was not announced until now where the car would make its first appearance…
The car was introduced at the VW stockholders meeting as the most economical car in the world!
The initial objective of the prototype was to prove that 1 litre of fuel could deliver 100 kilometres of travel.
China's New LITTLE CAR002


Its Spartan interior does not sacrifice safety; the impact and roll-over protection is comparable to a GT

racing cars.

The aero design proved essential to getting the desired result.
The body is 3.47 meters long and just 1.25 meters wide, and a little over a meter high.
The prototype was made completely of carbon fibre and is not painted to save weight.

The power plant is a one cylinder diesel, positioned ahead of the rear axle and combined with an automatic shift controlled by a knob in the interior.

The Most Economic Car in the World will be on sale next year:

Better than Electric Car – 258 miles/gallon: IPO 2010 in Shanghai
This is a single-seat car  From conception to production: 3 years and the company is headquartered in Hamburg , Germany .
Will be selling for 4000 Yuan, equivalent to US $600..
Gas tank capacity = 1.7 gallons
Speed = 62 – 74.6 Miles/hour
Fuel efficiency = 258 miles/gallon
Travel distance with a full tank = 404 miles or 646 km !!!

Tree of 40 Fruits

http://twistedsifter.com/2014/07/this-tree-bears-40-different-fruits/

Mind-Boggling Stuff‏

Mind-Boggling Stuff‏001 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏002 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏003 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏004 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏005 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏006 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏007 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏008 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏009 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏010 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏011 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏012 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏013 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏014 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏015 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏016 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏017 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏018 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏019 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏020 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏021 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏022 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏023 Mind-Boggling Stuff‏024

morning smiles‏

HOPE THESE MAKE EVERYONE SMILE
morning smiles‏001
PAY ATTENTION MEN
morning smiles‏002
morning smiles‏003 morning smiles‏004
YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY WON’T GET THIS ONE
morning smiles‏005 morning smiles‏006
WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT
morning smiles‏007 morning smiles‏008 morning smiles‏009 morning smiles‏010 morning smiles‏011
WOW ANOTHER COOL IDEA
morning smiles‏012 morning smiles‏013 morning smiles‏014
OH HOW FUNNY

morning smiles‏015 morning smiles‏016 morning smiles‏017 morning smiles‏018 morning smiles‏019 morning smiles‏020 morning smiles‏021 morning smiles‏022
THIS MAN JUST RESTORED FAITH IN HUMANITY
morning smiles‏023morning smiles‏024
SAD BUT TRUE, ADAM CAN YOU DO THIS TO MINE, PLEASE
morning smiles‏025 morning smiles‏026 morning smiles‏027 morning smiles‏028
YEP I USE THEM FOR CAT LITTER, IT’S CALLED REPURPOSING
morning smiles‏029
morning smiles‏030LOVE THIS ONE

morning smiles‏031 morning smiles‏032

Not for Seniors

2014 Mercedes

Are you GETTING TOO old to DRIVE this Car?
No joke! Scary! But true? Scroll down

Not for Seniors001
Presenting
The New 2014 Mercedes Benz SCL 600


Not for Seniors002Pretty, isn’t it?



Not for Seniors003

So?
What’s different about this car?


Not for Seniors004

Not this…


Not for Seniors005

OR even this…
Here is the real difference


Not for Seniors006

WHOA !
No Steering Wheel
No Pedals either


Not for Seniors007

You drive this car with a joystick
Do you think that you can drive with a joystick?
Your kids and
Grand kids sure can.
The
Influence of video games in our lives
Has really arrived, wouldn’t you
Say?

But there is more!
The SCARY THOUGHT is:
NOW a 3-YEAR-OLD can STEAL your car
AND DRIVE IT BETTER THAN YOU CAN !

Yep

- Start checking the senior bus schedule!!!!

Who says men can’t decorate?

Who says men cant decorate005 Who says men cant decorate004 Who says men cant decorate003 Who says men cant decorate002 Who says men cant decorate001 Who says men cant decorate009 Who says men cant decorate008 Who says men cant decorate007 Who says men cant decorate006

How to open a bottle of wine WITHOUT a corkscrew.

This is cool, I’m SO happy I know this now!
(via a Facebook friend)

Company Logos‏

Just think…companies get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to dream up this stuff!

YOU WILL NEVER LOOK AT THESE LOGO’S THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN.

Company Logos001
Do you see the arrow between the “E” and “x” (in white)?
I had never noticed it before.===========================================================
Company Logos002
The 2nd and 3rd “T’s” are two people sharing (or fighting over) a
tortilla and a bowl of salsa.=============================================================
Company Logos003
The world’s most famous bike race. The “R” in “Tour” is a cyclist.
The yellow circle is the front wheel of a bicycle, the “O” is the back wheel.

========================================================
Company Logos004
The arrow means Amazon has everything from A to Z

=====================================
Company Logos005
The gap between the “K” and the “I” is a sideways chocolate kiss.

===========================================================
Company Logos006
There is a dancing bear above the “ble”.
Toblerone chocolate bars originated in Berne , Switzerland ,
whose symbol is the bear.

=============================================================

Company Logos007
See the ” 31″ embedded in the ” BR”?
Thirty one-derful flavors!

================================================
Company Logos008
Northwest Airlines. The circle is a compass.
The arrow in the upper left corner is pointing..? North West Of Course !

=============================================================
Company Logos009
See the gorilla and lioness (in white) facing each other?
AWESOME ~  LOVED this one !

=======================================================
Company Logos010
The smiley half face is also a ‘g”.

========================================================
Company Logos011
The emblem for the Milwaukee Brewers.
Baseball glove forms an “M” and a “B”.
This Logo was designed by a college student.

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